


Agnus Dei

by PixelByPixel



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Because of course he is, F/M, Fluff, Humor, One Shot, Pining, accidental baby, amenadiel tells more than perhaps he should, and kind of succeeds, but not for lack of trying - Freeform, case fic adjacent, friends to something-approaching-lovers, linda tries to make lucifer think, lucifer addresses the sky, lucifer and chloe do not watch hot tub high school, lucifer is awkward with a baby, maze does not get violent, mention of (crime scene) death, miracle baby, set in late season 2, this was supposed to be short, well in theory, why did it put freeform in there?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 04:57:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14348424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PixelByPixel/pseuds/PixelByPixel
Summary: When a baby is found next to a corpse, Lucifer somehow ends up taking temporary care of her. Wackiness ensues, but the baby's presence also leads Lucifer to some knowledge of his own.





	Agnus Dei

**Author's Note:**

  * For [titC](https://archiveofourown.org/users/titC/gifts).



> I am aware that this is not how the foster care system works. ;) I just thought the fandom in general could use something light, and this is what my brain did.
> 
> Also, many thanks to [titC](https://archiveofourown.org/users/titC/pseuds/titC) for brainstorming and general pep talks. <3 Sorry I couldn't fit in the puns. ;)

Lucifer and Chloe arrived at the crime scene at almost the same moment. Lucifer felt it unnecessary to mention that he had achieved that fortuitous timing by waiting to approach until he’d seen her, instead letting her think that it had just happened naturally. It wasn’t a lie, he told himself; it was planning ahead. And he saw the way Chloe brightened when she saw him, so it was worth it.

They were met by the sight of Ella Lopez bouncing a wailing baby in her arms, even as she cast a quick look past the baby to the corpse beyond.

“What do we have here?” Chloe asked. It was a normal sort of crime scene question, but the gentle tone of her voice, its slightly higher pitch, was definitely not usual.

“Detective, please tell me you’re not the sort to turn into a blithering idiot at the sight of someone’s mewling offspring,” Lucifer said, eyeing the grimy infant with distaste. “Poor choice of words,” he added quickly, seeing the pointed look that the Detective leveled at him.

Ella, her face lighting in relief, approached them. “She was found next to the vic,” Ella replied, with a nod back to the body. “Actually, I need to get back to everything. Someone’s coming to get her, but they’re backed up. Could you -?”

But before she could hand the baby to Chloe, another detective had called her over, so it was Lucifer who, protesting, received an armful of baby.

“Wait, no,” he called after Ella. “I couldn’t possibly -”

Ella just waved as she moved purposefully toward the body. “You’ve got this.”

Lucifer looked down at the baby.

He met her gaze.

Her crying stopped and she regarded him solemnly.

“Well,” Lucifer said quietly, as he rearranged her so that it was less like he was holding a sack of potatoes. “That’s better.” Lest the spawn think he actually liked her, he added, “But you’re still filthy, and far too small to be useful.”

That made the baby break out into a toothless smile, and Lucifer regarded her with some puzzlement. “You do realize that wasn’t a compliment, yes?”

When the baby crowed her delight, Lucifer made his way over to where Ella hunkered next to the body. “Miss Lopez, this child clearly has something wrong with it.” He angled the child so that she wouldn’t see the corpse; he was the Devil, not a monster.

Ella, despite looking a little frazzled, peered up at Lucifer and the baby, and smiled at the sight. “Dude, look at you! You’re a pro!”

Lucifer considered first the baby and then the tech before asking, “Professional _what_?”

“Check you out!” Ella enthused. “I mean, I was holding her for, like, ten minutes and she would not stop crying. She likes you!”

Lucifer asked, his brows lowering, “But… why?”

Shaking her head in obvious amusement, Ella replied, “She’s not crying. Don’t ask why; just go with it. Oh, and she’s smelling a little ripe. Her bag is over there. You’re going to want to change her.”

“Change her into what?” Lucifer began, before the smell hit him and he realized exactly what should be changed. Ella had already turned back to the victim, so Lucifer sought additional help, trying to keep the panic from his voice as he called, “Detective!”

“No,” Chloe said when she realized the problem, though Lucifer was certain she was trying not to laugh at him. “I have to handle things here. Look, it’s not that hard. Just lay her down over there, take off her pants and her diaper - seriously, you don’t have to make that face - and clean her up before you put on a new one.”

Lucifer echoed, “Clean her up?”

Chloe rocked back on her heels. “It really isn’t complicated,” she reassured. “But it needs to be done.”

“Yes, but does it need to be done by _me_?” Lucifer protested. Chloe, clearly hiding a smile, waved him toward the diaper bag before returning to her own work.

Lucifer exhaled a sigh as he collected the bag and started to follow the Detective’s instructions. “What have you been eating?” he demanded, horrified, upon seeing the volume of the mess.

At that, laughter sounded behind him. He turned to look, and Chloe and Ella quickly separated and went back to their tasks, though not without casting amused looks in his direction. He did note that Chloe kept an eye out, likely to rescue him if things went poorly. At least, he thought that was why she was watching. Of course, she could also be admiring his… charms as he bent down to deal with the small troublemaker.

The baby just smiled, then made a noise that Lucifer decided was better than the crying. It seemed to indicate pleasure. “You enjoy nudity?” he asked, distracting himself from the horror that was the cleanup process. The baby gurgled, and he nodded briskly. “Well, we have that in common, at least. I’ve been told that crime scenes are not the place for such things, though, so let’s finish up.”

After a few false starts - _really_ , he thought, _they should label the front and back of the diaper_ \- he got the child back into her clothing, disposed of the soiled diaper, and then made copious use of the bottle of hand sanitizer in the diaper bag. “How can something so small produce such a volume of excrement?” he wondered as he returned the hand sanitizer and then rummaged through the bag, investigating its contents.

Nothing seemed too out of the ordinary, not that he had any idea what a diaper bag normally contained. He offered a rattle to the baby, pausing when he saw the writing on the toy’s tag. “Agnes. Is that you or the toy?” he asked. She merely stared at him in response, but when further perusal of the bag’s contents produced another toy with a similar label, he said, “It must be you. Nobody would name _two_ toys Agnes.” Though Agnes was at least a more fitting name for the second toy, a stuffed lamb, than it was for a rattle.

Still, Agnes seemed disinterested in the toys, instead reaching for Lucifer’s hand and trying to fit as much of his index finger into her mouth as she could. She made a face, possibly at the residual hand sanitizer, but then went back to work trying to gum Lucifer’s finger. “She’s going to make someone very happy when she’s older,” he observed as Chloe approached.

Chloe shook her head, her fond smile shifting to a look of amused exasperation. “Gross. I mean, really, Lucifer? She’s a baby.”

Lucifer shrugged. “It’s a useful skill, but one that perhaps I’d rather young Agnes practice on someone else.”

Chloe, starting to gather up the baby, asked, “You named her?” Her expression cleared when Lucifer indicated the toy and its label, but then became puzzled when Agnes, upon being moved farther from Lucifer, let out a howl of protest.

“She doesn’t like me, either,” Ella observed as she drew near. She leaned forward to make a silly face at Agnes, and received a wail in response. “See?” Looking down at her tablet, she said, “The vic had her phone and there’s a picture of her and the baby on her lock screen, so we’re probably not looking at a kidnapping or anything.” As Agnes continued to cry despite Chloe’s bouncing and cooing, Ella spoke more loudly. “Cause of death was a gunshot to the chest. We’re looking into -”

“Oh, give her here,” Lucifer said. Though his tone was impatient, he took the baby gently enough, but still with some awkwardness.

Agnes gave one final sob, and then nestled against Lucifer’s chest. He grimaced, but the damage to his suit was already done. “Does unpleasantness come from all of her orifices?”

“That is the weirdest thing I have ever seen,” Dan announced, with a nod to Lucifer and the baby. Turning to Chloe, he added, "There’s some security camera footage, so we should be able to start piecing things together.

Perking up even more than usual, if that was even possible, Ella suggested, “See if Dan likes her. Maybe she just doesn’t want women to hold her.” Seeing Dan’s dubious expression, she prompted, “Come on, Dan. For science.”

A little hesitant, Dan reached for the baby, but she let out a wail before she was even fully out of Lucifer’s grasp, only to subside when Dan had released her.

“Okay, that’s a no,” Ella said. “Sorry baby; we’ll stop tormenting you.”

Sounding a little offended, Lucifer said, “What about tormenting _me_? That was right in my ear. Truly, I know we have a screaming baby section in Hell, but I never fully appreciated it until this very moment.”

Ella shook her head, with an approving smile. “You really never break character, dude. That’s great.”

Her expression sympathetic, Chloe said, “Social services will be here soon, I hope, and they’ll find a placement for her. Why don’t you see if you can get her to sleep?”

“But how?” Lucifer asked. “All the ways I’ve gotten people to sleep in the past seem wildly inappropriate for an infant.”

Chloe coached him through it. While he would have preferred a different, baby-free reason for her to stand that close to him, the way she touched his arms to help him adjust how he was holding the child was actually quite nice. Maybe it wasn’t all bad. After all, the spawn clearly had excellent taste if she preferred him above all others. But as he gazed down at the Detective, he wasn’t really thinking about the baby.

Of course, the harried-looking woman arrived just as Agnes had settled down to sleep and Chloe had left to go talk to Ella. “Is this her?” the woman asked, with a nod toward Lucifer and the baby.

“Do you see any other infants at the crime scene?” Lucifer queried, eyeing the young woman dubiously. “How old are you, exactly?”

Straightening, the woman replied, “My age has no bearing on my competency, Mister…?”

“Morningstar. Lucifer Morningstar. I’d offer to shake hands, but I’m a bit occupied at the moment. And you are?” He eased back as the woman reached for the baby, adding, “Can I see some ID?”

The woman sighed, but showed Lucifer her ID. “Constance Weller.” She reached for Agnes once more, frowning when Lucifer again moved away. “Mr. Morningstar, please.”

“You look like you’ve had a difficult day, Miss Weller,” Lucifer said, his voice deepening just a little. “Are you certain that you can handle the little spawn?”

Constance shook her head. “Well, we’ll have to find a place for her. All our usual families are pretty full up, but hopefully it’ll just be short-term, until we find a family member. I just wish…”

“What is it?” Lucifer asked, shifting to that low, soothing cadence. “What do you desire, Miss Weller.”

Constance settled next to Lucifer on the bench. “I just want all my kids to be okay,” she said, her dark eyes filling with tears. “And I know they won’t all be. And,” she added, with feeling, “I want a good night’s sleep. I haven’t had one in months.” And she burst into tears, covering her face with her hands.

Dan, standing several feet away, called, “Chloe, Lucifer broke the social worker.”

“I did not,” Lucifer protested, though he lowered his voice when Agnes stirred. “She did this to herself! There, now,” he added to Constance, though he really couldn’t do anything to help her, occupied as his arms were.

But then Ella was there, crouching before Constance. “Hey, it’s okay,” the tech soothed. “Look, we can find a place for little Agnes. You don’t have to worry. Lucifer can take her, an emergency placement.”

“Lucifer can _what_?” Lucifer demanded, ignoring Dan’s sudden, strangled coughing fit.

But Constance, too, was shaking her head. “There are rules. I can’t just give him a baby.”

“The background check for becoming a civilian consultant is pretty similar to the one for foster care certification,” Dan offered, with another suspicious cough.

“Daniel!”

“You’re a civilian consultant?” Constance asked, wiping at her eyes. “I mean, she obviously gets along with you, and it would be so helpful.”

“See, there?” Ella reassured. “It’s okay.”

“Miss Lopez, it is definitely not okay,” Lucifer said, but it seemed like the arrangements were being made whether he wanted them or not.

At least, that was what was happening until Chloe spoke. “Lucifer, are you all right with this?” she asked. Stepping closer, she added, “I know it’s a big ask. I could come and help, though. Dan has Trixie for the weekend.”

Well. That definitely put a new spin on things. “I suppose I could, as long as it’s short-term,” Lucifer said, though his reluctance was unfeigned. Would it be worth dealing with an infant to have Chloe spend the weekend with him?

Constance nodded, even as she pulled out paperwork. “If we haven’t found a family member who can take her by Monday, I’ll be able to arrange something long-term for her.”

Ella got up and moved as if to clap Lucifer’s shoulder, though she stopped the movement upon seeing Agnes’s head nestled there. “Congrats, Daddy!”

Lucifer grimaced. “Miss Lopez, please.”

But then Chloe lifted a hand to hide a smile. Maybe it wouldn’t be all bad.

* * *

 

Lucifer wheeled the stroller into Linda’s office, delighting in the therapist’s poleaxed expression. “Oh, my God,” she breathed.

“Really, Doctor Linda, could you leave him out of this?” Lucifer queried, more out of habit than from any real ire. After all, he had expected this reaction.

“All that sex finally caught up with you,” Linda breathed, moving around her desk to try to see past the stroller’s shade. “Does it have horns?”

“What? No!” Almost, Lucifer turned the stroller right around. “The spawn isn’t _mine_. I mean, have you seen The Omen? That would be bad.”

Linda exhaled a soft, relieved sigh. She reached to push back the shade, then turned back to Lucifer, suspicious. “Where did you get a baby? For that matter, why? Or is there even a baby in there?”

Lucifer pushed back the shade himself, pleased that the movement was soundless and easy. He had gotten a top-of-the-line stroller, of course; the clerk had assured him that Beyoncé had the same one. “Yes, there is a baby, and her name is Agnes. I’m only looking after her for the weekend, as the foster care system is overloaded. She was at a crime scene, and her caregiver had been killed.”

Linda took a minute to admire the sleeping infant, with a soft murmur of, “Poor baby,” then gave Lucifer a pointed look. “And?”

“And what?” Lucifer queried, wheeling the stroller next to the couch, where he sat.

Linda, taking her own seat, pointed out, “You don’t like children. I mean, Trixie is a lot more self-sufficient than a baby, and you’re just starting to tolerate her.” Lucifer must have made a face that gave something away, as Linda added, “You tolerate her because of Chloe.”

“Now, Beatrice is interesting on her own,” Lucifer protested. “She has an excellent conniving spirit.”

Linda tipped her head just a bit to one side and gave Lucifer that look: the therapist look. “Would you ever spend time with Trixie without Chloe?”

Lucifer shook his head. “Well, what’s the point in that? I mean, aside from the favor I owe her.”

Lucifer could see Linda tabling the favor he owed Trixie as a topic for later discussion, but she asked instead, “So why agree to look after a baby? Lucifer, that’s a lot of work.”

Lucifer opted to look out the window as he said, “Well, the Detective said that she would come help, as Beatrice will be with Daniel for the weekend.”

“Lucifer.” Linda’s tone did not scold, not quite. “Are you using that baby as a way to get closer to Chloe?”

“Well, it’s not like any of this was my idea! Miss Lopez suggested it.” Lucifer glanced over with some trepidation as Agnes stirred in her sleep, perhaps woken by the volume of his voice, and then opened her eyes.

Linda got up from her chair and bent over the stroller. “Well, look who’s up!”

Lucifer watched with some puzzlement. “That thing your voice just did, getting all high, is it hardwired in you humans? Chloe did it, too.”

Linda just smiled, her attention clearly on Agnes. “Well,” she said, still baby-talking, “Research has shown that babies like this - yes, they do! And it catches their attention, yes! Look at her watching, smart girl. And it makes it easier for them to understand emotions, doesn’t it, sweetheart?”

“Huh. But don’t you feel like an idiot, talking like that? Oh,” he added, as Linda reached for the baby. “She only likes me, so don’t be offended if she -” Agnes let out a wail as Linda lifted her, and Lucifer concluded, not entirely succeeding in his effort not to look smug, “Cries.”

Frowning a little, Linda tried first bouncing the baby, then rocking her, then walking her, all the while ignoring Lucifer’s repeated murmurs of, “That won’t work.” Finally, Linda offered Agnes to Lucifer.

He took the baby in his arms, noticing that it felt a little less awkward.

Agnes stopped crying immediately.

Linda gaped. “Is this part of your desire thing? Or can you understand what she wants?”

Lucifer didn’t even bother not to look smug. “Well, Baby isn’t actually a language, you know. But I did know what she wants. Me.”

Linda made an exasperated noise, then settled in her chair once more. “Speaking of you, let’s get back _to_ you.”

“Thank you,” Lucifer replied pointedly. “After all, this time is supposed to be about me, not this small hooligan.”

Agnes took that moment to make a quiet cooing sound, and Linda smiled despite herself. Perhaps seeing Lucifer’s small frown, she pursed her lips, then asked, “So you really think it’s okay to use an innocent baby as an excuse to get closer to Chloe?”

Shrugging, Lucifer replied, “Isn’t that a thing you humans do, use babies and dogs for their appeal? I’m sure I’ve seen it on several situation-comedies.”

Linda took a moment to parse that, then murmured, “Sitcoms. Okay. Yes, that happens on TV, but this is real life, Lucifer, and your actions have real consequences. Don’t you want to have a more honest interaction with Chloe?”

“What’s dishonest about it?” Lucifer queried, bristling a little. Honesty, after all, as his thing. “I mean, the child does need care, and I clearly need assistance. It’s not like I dropped her off at the crime scene as part of some scheme.”

Linda sighed. “Yes. But would you be looking after this baby if Chloe hadn’t offered to help?”

“Of course not,” Lucifer replied, puzzled. “I hate children. We’ve been over this. But if she is getting the care that she needs, what do my motivations matter?”

“Lucifer, look at her,” Linda said softly. Lucifer did as Linda directed, and the therapist continued, sounding like she was struggling not to laugh as Lucifer’s regard elicited soft noises from the baby, “She’s a person in her own right, not a prop for some romantic evening with Chloe.”

Lucifer studied the infant, who returned his regard with wide-eyed solemnity before grinning at him and reaching for his hand. “Not that again,” Lucifer muttered, grabbing for a toy and offering it.

“She might be teething,” Linda suggested, as the baby gnawed on the toy instead.

“Oh, thank goodness,” Lucifer replied, with unfeigned relief. I thought she was just… advanced. It was rather a disturbing thought. She’s so persistent."

Linda smiled briefly before redirecting, “Now back to what I was saying…”

“The child is her own person,” Lucifer agreed. “Only I truly do need help, Doctor. I didn’t even guess about the teething. And if the Detective offered, who am I to refuse her?”

Linda sighed. She rubbed at one temple, then watched Agnes and her toy. She drew in a breath to continue, but then the door opened.

“Linda, I was wondering -” Amenadiel came up short at the sight of his brother and the baby.

“Amenadiel, we’re in session right now,” Linda said, though her expression suggested that she knew this appointment had already gone off the rails.

Amenadiel closed the door behind him. “Lucifer, what did you do? Did you steal that baby?”

“Right, because _that_ sounds like something I would do,” Lucifer retorted. “The child was found at a crime scene, and I’m looking after her.”

Amenadiel sat on Lucifer’s other side, staring at the baby. “But why?”

Linda smiled at Lucifer, her brows lifting as if to say, _Go ahead, tell him._

Lucifer looked away. “Well, she likes me. She doesn’t seem to like anybody else. Not even Doctor Linda.”

“Thanks,” Linda murmured.

“Let’s see if she likes you, brother,” Lucifer suggested, a touch of malice in his tone. With a spot-on impression of Ella at her perkiest, he added, “For science.”

Amenadiel glanced at Linda, who shrugged, then carefully lifted the baby from Lucifer’s arms. Agnes looked over her shoulder at Lucifer, and then nestled against Amenadiel.

Amenadiel settled back against the couch, his lips curving. “Well, will you look at that. Hi, there, little… what’s her name?”

“Traitor,” Lucifer muttered, just as Linda replied, “Agnes.”

“Agnes,” Amenadiel echoed. “Hm.” He peered down at the baby, who grinned up at him despite the toy in her mouth.

“But why does she like _you_?” Lucifer demanded, exhaling a frustrated sound when Amenadiel shrugged.

“Must be my charisma and good looks. Don’t roll your eyes, Luci,” Amenadiel added, his tone mild but perhaps a little condescending. “Many people find me quite charming.”

The brothers turned as one to look at Linda, who shook her head. “Oh, no. I am not taking sides between you two. Look, it’s clear that the session is going nowhere. Lucifer, let me know if you want to reschedule.”

“You’re kicking me out?” Lucifer queried, lifting a hand to his chest in a wounded gesture that even he had to admit was a trifle overdone.

Linda shook her head. “Of course not. But do you really think that we’re going to accomplish any more today? Just let me know how the weekend goes, all right? And think about what I said.”

Lucifer said absently, “I always _think_ about it, Doctor.” It was the execution that usually caused trouble. Turning to Amenadiel, he added, “Right. Let’s see you put her into the pram. Bet you can’t do it first try.”

Linda sighed.

* * *

 

Maze strode into Lucifer’s penthouse, though she drew up short at the sight of the baby gear strewn across the room. “Is this a sex thing?” she called, not seeing Lucifer. “Because this is pretty weird, even for you.”

Receiving no answer, she moved further into the penthouse. When she heard a squeal from Lucifer’s bathroom, she called, “I’d better not be interrupting anything kinky. You’re the one who texted me, and if you wanted me to join in, you at least could have waited.”

She pushed open the door to the bathroom and there they were: Lucifer and Amenadiel, wearing identical embarrassed expressions. They were crouched over Lucifer’s massive bathtub, and inside…

“What is that?” Maze asked, her lip curling in disgust.

Lucifer, rebounding, said, “You made excellent time, Maze. We thought we’d be done in here before you arrived.”

The creature, who was sitting in a smaller bathtub tucked inside Lucifer’s giant one, splashed and burbled.

“Done _what_?” Maze replied, keeping her distance.

Amenadiel straightened. “Well, the baby was a little dirty after she ate, and Lucifer was afraid she’d ruin his suit.”

“Well, more than she already has,” Lucifer added, though he was jacketless and had rolled up his sleeves.

Maze glared impartially between the brothers. “You texted me to come over here right away for _this_?”

Lucifer replied, “Well, we didn’t know it would take so long to bathe one small human, did we?”

“That still doesn’t explain why you wanted me over here,” Maze prompted.

Amenadiel and Lucifer exchanged a conspiratorial look that Maze did not like, then the latter said, “Go on, have a drink. We’ll be out once we’ve wrangled some clothing on this little hellion.”

Maze turned to leave, not even responding when Lucifer called, “She does enjoy being naked. That’s something, yes?”

As she closed the door behind her, she heard Amenadiel murmur, “I don’t think she’ll do it.”

Damn right she wouldn’t do it, whatever _it_ was, if it involved that baby. Maze shoved past some sort of baby cage, thinking that it, at least, had been a good purchase, and poured herself a drink.

Not because Lucifer had told her to, of course. But he did have top-shelf stuff, and after seeing the Lord of Hell catering to some pathetic human child, Maze needed a drink.

Of course, humans weren’t all bad. Chloe was okay, if a little too pushy about dishes, and Trixie and Linda? Well, they were great. But they were exceptions.

Maze watched over the rim of her glass as Lucifer entered holding the creature, with Amenadiel a few steps behind. “What do you want me to do?” she asked, her voice flat.

“Right,” Lucifer began. “So I thought Agnes liked only me, but as it turns out -”

“Cut to the chase, Lucifer,” Maze drawled.

Lucifer looked away, then down at the baby, and finally met Maze’s eyes. “Hold the baby.”

“What? No!” Maze recoiled, then got to her feet and moved away. “It smells.”

“She just had a bath,” Amenadiel protested, sounding offended. “The shampoo smells like strawberries.”

“She’s got stuff coming out of her mouth,” Maze countered, edging back another step.

Lucifer replied, following Maze, “That’s because she’s teething.”

Maze turned to stare at him. “How do you know that?”

“Doctor Linda,” Lucifer replied, with a touch of impatience. “It’s not like I touch a spawn and magically know how it works. Look, just hold her for a moment, Maze.”

“For science,” Amenadiel added, his tone a little dry.

Maze edged back a step. “You never said why. And stop chasing me with that thing!” she added, as Lucifer moved another step forward.

With a short sigh, Lucifer moved back to the couch. “She only likes Amenadiel and me. Everybody else makes her cry. We -” Amenadiel cleared his throat. “Fine. _I_ want to know why. It’s not a male/female thing, as she doesn’t like Daniel, either.” He looked down at the child, adding thoughtfully, “She’s a puzzle.”

Maze frowned. “What do I get if I do it?”

Lucifer shrugged. “What do you want?”

Maze shot a considering look at Amenadiel, one hand dropping to graze the top of her knife. Lucifer, catching the motion, said, “I may need him later.”

“A favor, then,” Maze said. “I’ll call, and you’ll come running, for once.”

“Done,” Lucifer agreed. He offered the baby and Maze, after putting down her drink, held her at arm’s length.

The three of them watched, but the baby merely wriggled in the demon’s grasp, her small feet kicking.

“Hold her closer,” Lucifer urged, his dark eyes intent, and Maze lifted the baby so that they were nearly nose-to-nose.

Agnes let out a sudden, gleeful squeal, and reached to grab a fistful of Maze’s hair. “Get it off,” Maze commanded. She tried to thrust the spawn into Lucifer’s hands, but the child had gotten a tight grip, her fingers entangled in Maze’s hair.

It was Amenadiel who came to her rescue, patiently removing each small finger. “You’re not scared of a little human baby, are you, Maze?” he queried as he took the baby, his voice mild.

“I’m not scared of anything,” Maze retorted.

“She must sense that we’re not human,” Lucifer suggested. “And naturally she prefers us to them; who wouldn’t?”

Maze scrubbed her hands against her pants, then reclaimed her drink. “Is there something special about it, that it can do that?” she asked, curious despite herself. “It’s not your kid, is it?”

“You know that would require a certain effort on my part, Maze,” Lucifer replied, exhaling a short, exasperated sound.

Amenadiel offered the baby to Lucifer. “Now that you’ve got that cleared up, I should get going.”

“We haven’t cleared anything up,” Lucifer replied. “Why the sudden desire to leave? Something you’re not telling us?” He grinned, then. “Don’t tell us the child is yours, brother! Well, well, well, someone’s been naughty! I thought Maze was your first.”

“Of course she’s not my child,” Amenadiel replied, though he shot a quick glance at the elevator.

Lucifer finally took the baby, prodding, “What do you know, then? Clearly something, the way you’re acting.”

Amenadiel sighed. “Well. Sometimes Father will send one of us to bless a woman who is trying to have a child. Maybe that’s why Agnes is here, and whoever blessed her mother came on a little too strong. And now she’s drawn to us, because part of her recognizes us.”

“Ha, that explains why she likes you, Lucifer,” Maze taunted.

Rounding on her, Lucifer replied, “Yes, but young Beatrice likes me as well, and the Detective certainly wasn’t, what would you call it, touched by an angel? Right, brother?” Perhaps catching sight of Amenadiel’s shifty expression, he persisted, “ _Right_ , brother?”

Amenadiel didn’t say anything, and Lucifer demanded, “Daniel and the Detective had trouble conceiving their child? Well, I suppose that makes sense, given what we know of Dan. Who did it?”

Maze put in, her eyes alight with gleeful curiosity, “Is Trixie not Dan’s?”

Amenadiel made a wry face. “Please, Luci. Humans can have trouble with that for any number of reasons… but no. Trixie is Dan’s, as far as I know, and they didn’t need any help from above in that department.”

“Well, then, what is it? Come on, out with it.” Lucifer settled himself and the baby onto the couch, offering her a toy when she reached for his hand.

Amenadiel sighed. Speaking slowly, as if struggling with his words, or perhaps whether he should even say them, he said, “Chloe wasn’t blessed to, ah, be fruitful and multiply. But her mother was.”

Nobody responded in the first moments after Amenadiel’s announcement, until Agnes broke the silence with a happy gurgle.

“You’re joking,” Lucifer whispered. Amenadiel shook his head, and Lucifer demanded, “How do you know?”

“It was me, Luci,” Amenadiel replied, his voice quiet. “I did it. I didn’t realize until I met Penelope the other day.”

Maze got to her feet, demanding of Amenadiel, “Are you Chloe Decker’s daddy?”

“Of course not,” Amenadiel replied, making a face. “Why do you both keep assuming that I’m somebody’s father? I just… touched Penelope, blessed her. That’s all.”

“Right,” Maze drawled. “A little laying on of hands. I got it.”

Lucifer got to his feet as Amenadiel sputtered in response to Maze. Absently tucking Agnes into the pack and play, Lucifer turned back to his brother. “So you’re saying that Dad sent you to make sure that the Detective would be here now, at this time,” he said.

“No,” Amenadiel replied, his voice tight. “I’m saying that Penelope Decker prayed for a miracle, and Dad granted her wish. Usually he doesn’t send me. I don’t know. Maybe Gabriel was busy.”

“But how do I know if dear old Dad did this on purpose?” Lucifer asked. His brows lowering, he added, “Maybe this is why the Detective can resist my charms. That would be just like him!”

Amenadiel took a deep breath. “Brother,” he said gently. “Not everything is about you. Father doesn’t hold grudges - not any more,” he amended, hearing Lucifer’s snort of derision. “It could be that Father just did this for Penelope’s benefit, but if not… well, think about it. Would you rather have a partner you could charm into doing whatever you liked? Or would you rather work with someone who can stand up to you, give as good as she gets?”

Lucifer didn’t respond, his expression thoughtful. He moved to pour himself a drink, tossing it back and then contemplating the decanter.

“Come on,” Amenadiel said, turning to Maze. “Let’s go.”

Bristling, Maze replied, “You don’t get to tell me what to do.”

Amenadiel shrugged as he moved toward the elevator. “Fine. Stay here and help with the baby.” He had the grace not to smile when Maze got to her feet and followed him with alacrity. “Brother,” he called, as they pair stepped into the elevator. “Think about what I said.”

* * *

 

Lucifer watched the elevator doors close, and then poured another drink. He turned back toward the pack and play.

Agnes, seeing him, beamed and extended her hands toward him.

Lucifer smiled, flattered despite himself. “Well, child, was that it?” he asked her, bending down to study her. “Are you here because your mother asked for you? I hope so,” he added, his voice gentling. “It would mean you were wanted most desperately, and that is no small thing.” He set aside the drink and picked up the baby, to her obvious delight. Peering down at her, he murmured, “Pity she didn’t get to enjoy you for very long. But sometimes that’s how my father works. He gives you the thing you think you most desire, but takes away something just as important.”

He carried Agnes toward the balcony, though he stayed inside. He held the baby in silence, considering Amenadiel’s words. “Would I rather an equal partner rather than one I can charm into doing what I want?” he asked. “Well… of course. Not even a question.”

Agnes smiled up at him, and Lucifer asked, “You agree? Of course you do, child. It’s the only sensible answer.”

Agnes was, Lucifer reflected, not all that bad for a tiny, helpless, frequently smelly human. In fact, while he didn’t particularly like the weight of her - even immortals could get bored of holding something, after all - he didn’t entirely despise her, either. That was something, wasn’t it?

And she was clearly intelligent. After all, she liked nothing more than to stare up at him through her ridiculously long eyelashes.

Really, if anything was a sin, it was eyelashes that long on a baby who was unable to appreciate them.

She started to make that noise, the one that he’d decided meant _bored now_ , and he bounced her a little in place, the way he’d seen Linda do it. That didn’t do the trick, so he cleared his throat and began to sing.

“ _Agnus dei,_ ” he began, his voice a quiet drone that he hoped would put her back to sleep, “ _qui tollis pecatta mundi…_ ”

Agnes made a quiet sound, and Lucifer paused his song to comment, “It’s not about you. I told you that. Really, child, can you not pay attention?”

Perhaps she wasn’t that smart after all. But then, no, she looked up at him with that adoring smile. Clearly, she was brilliant.

A quiet chuckle sounded from the lift, and Lucifer looked over sharply, relaxing when he saw who it was. “Detective,” he breathed.

She carried a bag from Target and a small, battered stuffed monkey, but it was her expression that caught at Lucifer’s heart. There was a softness about her eyes that he rarely saw, usually only when he caught her looking at her offspring.

Had his father sent her, as he’d thought the day they met? Had dear old Dad found another way to torment him here on Earth?

But, really, what sweet torment it was. And just maybe, though he’d deny the thought if anyone challenged him on it, maybe Amenadiel was right. Maybe she was just here in answer to Penelope’s prayer. After all, if Dad had put her here, that would mean that he had known everything that Lucifer would do, and that thought was too much to bear.

Lucifer realized from the uncertainty in Chloe’s expression that he had stared too much, lost in his thoughts. But then she rallied and came to sit next to him, settling the bag at her feet and the toy on the couch.

Well, she sat next to them. The spawn likely had something to do with it, despite the fact that Chloe smiled at him. So that was one more mark in Agnes’s favor.

“Look at you,” Chloe said, her expression fond. “You don’t need me at all.”

“No, I do,” was Lucifer’s prompt response. “I really have no idea what I’m doing.”

Chloe nodded, teasing gently, “Well, you definitely have enough stuff. It looks like BuyBuy Baby exploded in here.”

Lucifer looked around the room. Possibly he had gone a little overboard at the shop.

“Well, I wanted to make sure I had everything I needed,” he began, though he subsided when Chloe rested a hand on his arm.

“Hey. You’re doing great.” The two exchanged smiles, though Lucifer still couldn’t get Chloe’s origin out if his thoughts. “Why would that song you were singing be about Agnes?” she queried.

“Oh. Well.” Lucifer shrugged, looking away. After all the fuss he’d made about not singing carols when he’d gone to Chloe’s house for Christmas, this was awkward. “It was the Agnus Dei. Lamb of God. Agnus… Agnes. It looks the same, though of course it doesn’t sound the same at all. But her name comes from the Greek and means chaste or pure, the poor thing.” Lucifer smiled again, though this time a bit wryly. “Awful parents, saddling her with such a name.”

Chloe shook her head looking amused. She looked down at Agnes, and made an odd choking sound.

Lucifer looked to see the source of amusement. Agnes seemed perfectly content, likely because she was wearing a bright red knitted hat that Lucifer had gotten her. The hat sported two red horns, though one was pressed against Lucifer’s chest.

“Lucifer,” Chloe asked, sounding as if she was trying not to laugh. “Where did you get that hat?”

Lucifer replied, drawing himself up proudly, “They had it in the shop. I suppose it was a leftover from Halloween, as it was tucked away behind some things, but I couldn’t resist. What else should she wear? After all, she is the ward of the Devil Himself.”

“Of course,” Chloe replied. She offered a hand to Agnes, smiling when the baby grabbed a finger and began gumming it.

“Teething,” Lucifer said, pleased to be able to share his knowledge. “I’ve got a thing she can use, if you’d rather not be a chew toy, but the man in the shop said to put it in the freezer.”

“She’s fine,” Chloe replied, sounding pleased that Agnes was gnawing on her. But if Lucifer offered to do something similar, and no doubt with far greater skill despite the baby’s apparent precocity? Well. Humans. “Trixie used to do this, too. She’d chew on anything.” Looking up at Lucifer, Chloe asked, “Think she’d let me hold her if you stay close?” She offered the baby the stuffed monkey, and Agnes gleefully switched her attention, chewing on the toy’s ear instead.

Lucifer glanced down at Agnes, who grinned up at him, then nodded. “Well, we can try. Here.” He lifted his arm, and Chloe eased closer. “All right, you troublemaker,” he addressed Agnes. “I’m right here, yes? So behave yourself.”

He eased Agnes into Chloe’s arms, then draped his arm over the back of the couch. The baby watched him carefully, but apparently decided that he wasn’t going anywhere, and so turned her attention to Chloe.

“She’s so beautiful,” Chloe murmured, no doubt enthralled by those ridiculous eyelashes.

Perhaps his guyliner wasn’t enough, if eyelashes made Chloe make that face.

Lucifer murmured his agreement, though it was the detective he was watching, rather than the baby. Chloe looked up and met his eyes. She must have caught something of his thoughts from his expression, for she shook her head, with a small smile. “So how have you two done so far?” she asked. “Sorry I couldn’t get here sooner. I had to get Trixie off to Dan’s. That’s where I got the monkey; she sent it for Agnes.”

“Seondhand toy,” Lucifer observed, chuckling when Chloe made a face at him. “Only joking, Detective. The little spawn and I went to see Doctor Linda, and Amenadiel and Maze came by later.”

Chloe asked, brows lifting, “Together?” When Lucifer shook his head, she sighed, and turned her attention back to Agnes. “Did she eat? She looks cleaner, at least.”

“Oh, yes,” Lucifer replied. “She ate and then got a bath. I don’t believe my bathroom will ever recover.” He looked askance at Chloe, then said, his voice quiet, “Do you know, Amenadiel thinks she’s a miracle.”

She wouldn’t believe him, but he had to see what she would say.

Chloe leaned down to kiss the top of Agnes’s head. “Of course she is.”

Lucifer turned to stare outright at Chloe, his eyes wide. His heart felt like it would burst from his chest, and he spared a moment of sympathy for the guy in that Alien movie. “I… what?”

“What?” Chloe echoed, puzzled. “Lucifer, all babies are miracles. Think about the timing that has to happen so that the specific sperm and egg could combine to make this exact little being.”

“You make it sound so romantic,” Lucifer murmured, his brows lifting upward in a manner that was not quite lascivious.

“I mean,” Chloe continued, “I always wondered what would have happened if I’d gotten pregnant a different night, what that baby would have been like. And Mom always called me her little miracle.”

Lucifer inhaled a slow breath. “Did she, now?” he said, wondering how much Penelope knew about her daughter’s origins. Exactly how much laying on of hands had Amenadiel done?

He noticed Chloe’s look of inquiry and realized that he was staring again. He coughed. “Did you ever think of having another?” he asked, with a vague wave at Agnes.

Chloe shook her head. “Honestly, it was all Dan and I could do to keep up with Trixie. Plus, she’s so great. How could we possibly have gotten that lucky again?”

Lucifer had his own opinion regarding young Beatrice’s greatness, particularly after that incident with the glitter glue. He hadn’t even bothered to try and salvage those trousers.

“Well, it’s good to know your limitations,” he said, drawing himself up at Chloe’s raised eyebrows. “I mean,” he amended, “I know you’d want to do the best for your offspring, and if you wouldn’t be able to do your best for more than one, it’s just as well that Beatrice has no siblings. They’re an annoyance most of the time, anyway.”

Chloe shrugged, a smile warming her face. “It’s nice to borrow babies sometimes, though. I mean, Agnes still kind of has that baby smell.”

“What, excrement and sour milk?” Lucifer asked, laughing. “I thought the bath had fixed that. Amenadiel insisted on the strawberry shampoo.”

Chloe asked, looking intrigued, “Did you and Amenadiel go shopping for all this stuff? Together?”

“No. I did that myself,” Lucifer replied, amused. “Amenadiel and me shopping for baby items, that sounds like a… a sitcom. I just bought a few varieties of shampoo -” Four, but he wouldn’t admit it. “- and Amenadiel wanted to use the strawberry kind.”

Laughing, Chloe agreed, “I would have loved to see that. But, really, she does have that baby smell. Here,” she added, angling Agnes toward Lucifer. “Smell her head.”

“I most certainly will not!” Lucifer protested, recoiling. “I’ve smelled quite enough of this child.” Agnes smiled drowsily up at him, perhaps thinking it was all a game, and Lucifer asked, “Has there been any luck locating her family?”

Chloe nodded. “Yeah, sorry. I should have said so sooner. Her dad is out of town on business, and they’re trying to find him and notify him. Poor guy,” she added, cuddling Agnes a little closer. “He goes away for work and comes back to all this.”

“No other family?” Lucifer asked, tutting softly when Chloe shook her head. “This is difficult work, looking after an infant.”

“It takes a village, right?” Chloe agreed. “Oh, she’s asleep,” she added, with a fond smile down at the baby. “I can try putting her down in the pack and play.”

Lucifer watched with interest as Chloe got the baby settled. “You’re good with her.”

“Now that she’s not screaming,” Chloe replied, with a small smile. “You are, too, though. So are there any little Lucifers running around? That you know of?”

Lucifer shook his head, moving to join Chloe by the pack and play. “None at all,” he replied. “Nor will there be.”

“But you really are good with Agnes,” Chloe said. “I mean, if you don’t want kids, you definitely shouldn’t have them. It’s weird, though. You’re all -” She drew herself up and said, her British accent truly terrible, “Oh, children, dreadful.” Returning to her usual manner, she added, “But Agnes adores you. Do you really think she’s that awful?”

Lucifer took some time to consider his words. “I suppose not,” he conceded. “But that doesn’t mean that all children are automatically wonderful. Agnes is… special, and some children really _are_ dreadful. I mean,” he added, leaning in closer, “Have you seen Toddlers and Tiaras?”

Chloe couldn’t help but laugh as she nodded her acknowledgment. “I haven’t seen that show, but I’ve heard about it. And Agnes is sweet, but how is she more special than other kids? Because she thinks you hung the moon?”

“Well, not _just_ the moon,” Lucifer quipped. “And it’s not that she’s special because she likes me. Quite the opposite, in fact.”

Her brows lowering in apparent puzzlement, Chloe asked, “She likes you because she’s special?”

Lucifer nodded, crossing to pour himself a drink. He cast a look of inquiry to Chloe, lifting the decanter, then set it aside at her headshake.

“How is she special?” Chloe persisted. “And Trixie adores you, too. I think she’s special, but do you?”

“Special-adjacent,” Lucifer hedged, avoiding the first question altogether.

Chloe, shaking her head, fussed with Agnes’s blanket. “Special-adjacent. What does that even mean?”

Lucifer sat on the couch and peered into his drink. Should he try to tell her? Would she even believe him? He looked up when Chloe settled next to him.

“Hey,” she said, her voice gentle. “You okay? You keep… I don’t know, checking out.”

Lucifer summoned a smile. “This is what it looks like when I’m thinking,” he jested.

“Seriously,” Chloe urged.

“Seriously,” Lucifer echoed. Guessing from her expression that Chloe wasn’t going to let it go, he shook his head. “Sorry, I’m just…”

Chloe finished, her lips curving, “Deflecting with humor?” When Lucifer stared at her, she added, “I pay attention. And it’s been how long since we started working together?”

Lucifer didn’t pay attention to time, not like the humans did. He knew time had passed, but how long? Beatrice was taller. She had more teeth than she had on the day they met. “Seems like it was just yesterday,” he mused. “You said you found me repulsive.” Sliding into a note-perfect imitation of Chloe, he added, “Like, on a chemical level.”

“Hey,” Chloe protested, laughing.

“Deny it!” Lucifer countered. He got up to refill his drink, and this time Chloe nodded when he looked over to see if she wanted one as well.

Chloe shook her head. “I said it,” she admitted. “But you’ve grown on me since then. And we do make a good team.”

Lucifer smiled as he handed Chloe her glass and then lifted his own in salute. “Right you are.”

But were they a good team because his father had sent her here, put her in his path? Had he fallen for the old man’s ploy, or had it been, as Amenadiel had said, just a favor for Penelope?

It wasn’t like he could ask his father about his motives, or trust the answer even if he did ask.

Chloe nudged Lucifer, and he blinked, focusing on her once more. “Sorry.”

“Do you want me to go?” she asked. “I mean, I’m not upset or anything, but if you don’t want me here…”

“No, I do, really,” Lucifer replied. “I mean, what if she wakes up in the middle of the night?” Recalling Linda’s words about using the baby, he added, his voice tentative, “And company would be nice.”

Chloe smiled, suggesting, “We could watch a movie? _Not_ porn,” she added.

All innocence, Lucifer replied, “Hot Tub High School is not _technically_ -”

“No.” Chloe interrupted him before he could finish the sentence. She grabbed the remote and turned on the television, the volume low in deference to the sleeping baby. “Look, it’s a documentary about origami. Perfect.”

Lucifer shot a sidelong look at Chloe, and smiled at her challenging expression. He knew she expected him to argue. “Perfect,” he agreed, his voice mild.

He did enjoy her surprised expression. It was fun to be unpredictable.

The origami documentary was followed by another on a children’s ballroom dance competition, but before that had ended, Chloe had fallen asleep. Lucifer tucked a blanket over her and, after a quick look to make sure Agnes was still sleeping, stepped out to the balcony.

The stars never failed to amaze him with their beauty. He hadn’t really noticed it when he’d created them; perhaps he had been too close. Sometimes these things needed a little distance. He felt a spark of pride as he looked up at them. One thing, this was _one thing_ he hadn’t gotten wrong, that his father couldn’t take away from him.

“What are you playing at?” he asked the sky, his voice quiet, reasonable. For once. “Did you send the Detective here?”

That was the trouble, after all. How much of all this was intentional on his father’s part? He knew dear old Dad had followed everything that happened back when Eden was still new, but now? There were so many humans.

Be fruitful and multiply, indeed. They had listened with a vengeance. And how much attention did a busy deity have to spare for humans as individuals? He _could_ know, but did he? Had he lost interest in his creations, as he had with his children?

Would that be preferable to the alternative, that everything that happened was by his will?

“Did you really do it?” he asked. “That child in there, if Amenadiel is right, you blessed her mother and caused her to be born. Did you then take her mother? Did you put all that into motion just so Amenadiel would tell me about the Detective?”

Because, of course, that was what it came back to: the Detective. The thoughts tied themselves into knots within his head.

He would talk to Linda about it at their next session. That would help. But until he’d sorted himself out, shouldn’t he stay away from Chloe?

He turned to look at her. A shaft of moonlight had settled upon her, making her seem to glow in the dimness of the penthouse.

No. She was his friend, his partner.

He couldn’t stay away.

As if she could feel him thinking about her, Chloe opened her eyes. She met his gaze and smiled drowsily. “Hey, sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep. Guess that early morning got to me.”

Lucifer stepped back inside. “Well,” he said lightly. “And the documentary was so interesting, too. I’m surprised at you, Detective.”

Chloe laughed, shaking her head. “Okay, we can put on something a little more exciting,” she conceded. “Not porn, _not_ Hot Tub High School.” She turned on the guide channel. “Aha. Body Bags 2. Will I be okay if I haven’t seen the first one?”

“Daniel never made you watch them?” Lucifer queried. “And, well, plot isn’t really important in this particular series of films.”

Chloe replied, “I just never really wanted to, before. C’mon.” She patted the spot next to her, and Lucifer complied.

After all, he couldn’t stay away.

* * *

 

Chloe watched in concern as she led Jake, the victim's husband, into the elevator to the penthouse. It wasn’t particularly surprising that the man looked pale and shell-shocked, of course; he’d just learned of his wife’s violent death.

“My daughter is… here?” Jake asked, clearly puzzled.

Chloe nodded. “Yeah, I know it’s not your usual sort of foster home, but Agnes really took to my partner and he’s been taking care of her. He lives here.”

Jake looked utterly baffled for a moment, but then nodded. “I really appreciate your partner looking after her. I just can’t imagine -” His voice broke, and Chloe felt her throat tighten.

“This is really hard, I know,” she said, her voice gentle.

Jake just nodded and took a deep, shaky breath. The penthouse doors opened and he moved forward, his steps urgent. When he saw Lucifer holding Agnes, he made a choked, raw sound. “Naysa, baby,” he whispered, and the baby reached for him.

"Hey, Lucifer, this is Jake Shepard. He's the baby's dad, of course."

Chloe let out a breath of her own as Lucifer handed over the baby. She had been afraid that Agnes would have preferred Lucifer to her own father, which would not have helped either the man or the baby.

“Naysa?” Lucifer echoed, an odd expression on his face. “I thought her name was Agnes. It says so on her toys.” 

Jake nodded, his eyes welling as he cradled his daughter. “The daycare wanted her first name on her stuff, and that’s Agnes. We named her for my grandmother, but Molly said her middle name had to be Naysa, and that’s what we ended up calling her. It means…”

“Miracle of God,” Lucifer finished, still with that odd, reflective look.

With another nod, Jake said, “That’s what Molly always says - said - Naysa is.”

“Of course she is,” Chloe agreed gently.

The conversation kind of petered out after that, and Chloe got the appropriate paperwork signed, and gathered up the diaper bag, which she saw now held both the devil hat and the stuffed monkey. She nodded to Lucifer, then escorted Jake and Agnes - no, Naysa - back to the car. 

Chloe came back up to the penthouse to find Lucifer putting away the pack and play, and moved to help. “That was hard,” she said, her voice quiet.

For once, Lucifer didn’t reply with a sex joke, much to Chloe’s relief. “Yes,” he agreed, with a small smile for her assistance. “It seems…” He took a breath, his posture stiff. “Unfair.”

“Yes!” The word burst from Chloe’s lips: a protest. “He said outside that they tried for years before they finally had Naysa. And now she’s what, six months old, and her mother’s gone. At least I had my dad when I was little. That poor baby.”

She heard her voice break, and struggled to keep back her tears, but then Lucifer was there, enfolding her in his arms. That kindness was enough to push her over the edge, and she sobbed against his chest, grieving for Naysa and Jake, and maybe a little for herself, and for Trixie, who would never know her grandfather. “Sometimes,” she managed, after a while. “Sometimes I hate my job.”

“Yes,” Lucifer agreed, and Chloe felt his hand rubbing her back in a gentle movement that she was pretty sure she’d seen him use on the baby. “But we’ll catch whoever killed poor Molly, and we’ll make sure they are suitably punished. It can’t bring her back, but it’s something.”

Chloe pulled away, with a murmured, “Yeah.” She wiped at her eyes, then sighed. “I ruined your shirt. I’m sorry.”

“It’ll clean,” Lucifer reassured.

Chloe smiled, though she could tell from Lucifer’s expression that he still worried about her. “What are you going to do with all the baby gear. Save it for the next baby you take care of?”

“Perish the thought,” Lucifer replied, though not without a quick smile. But at least that worried look was gone. “No, I heard that Samantha at work is expecting, yes? She can have the lot.”

And, of all things, that made Chloe tear up again. “She’ll be so grateful. That’s really generous, Lucifer.”

Looking a little uncomfortable, Lucifer replied, “Easier than trying to return it.”

Chloe let it go, but not without another, more genuine smile. “So, pretty weird about the baby’s name, right? I guess Amenadiel was right about her being a miracle, huh?” She’d intended it as a joke, but Lucifer’s response caught her attention: he looked away, and moved to the bar, his posture stiff.

“Yes,” he agreed, his voice quiet, his face getting that closed-off look she’d seen several times over the weekend.

Chloe watched him. He poured, swirled the drink in its glass, and gazed into it before tossing back the drink and getting another.

“How did he know?” Chloe pushed. He was looking even more awkward than he had about giving Samantha the baby gear. Clearly, something was up.

Lucifer shrugged. “Who can say where Amenadiel gets his information. I hear he watches a lot of soap operas these days; probably pining for Maze. I even caught him reading Soap Opera Digest the other day. Surprised he didn’t say that the baby had been replaced by her evil twin.”

“You’re deflecting again,” Chloe said, though her words held no heat. “Come on, you’ve been weird on and off all weekend. What’s up?” She saw him hesitate and urged, “It’s okay, whatever it is. As long as you didn’t take the baby to a strip club.”

He let out a short laugh at that. “No, just down to Lux, and it was closed at the time. Some of the staff wanted to fuss over her.”

Chloe could just see it: Lucifer sitting in a booth with Naysa, surrounded by Lux’s dancers. She smiled at the thought, then said gently, “Look, whatever’s bothering me, you can tell me. You know that, yeah?”

Lucifer nodded. “I do,” he said, his words coming slowly. “And I will, I promise.” He managed a thin smile. “I’m a man of my word, so you know I’ll do it. Just… not right now. I need to think about something else at the moment.”

Chloe didn’t sigh, but also didn’t push. Partnership involved trust, and she did trust Lucifer. If he said he would tell her, he would, and she could be patient until them. “So,” she suggested. “Body Bags 3?”

“You’re not leaving?” he asked, his face oddly puzzled. “I mean, the child is gone.”

Chloe glanced away, then turned back to meet his gaze. “Well,” she admitted, “I didn’t just come here to help with the baby.” She couldn’t help but smile at the way his eyes widened, but she wasn’t expecting what he said next.

“Could you repeat that for Doctor Linda?”

“What?” Chloe asked, puzzled but curious. “Why?”

Lucifer grinned, looking entirely too pleased with himself. “She thought I was using the little hellion’s need for care to get closer to you, when in fact I was multitasking: getting help with the child _and_ getting closer to you. I think she should know that you were doing the same thing.”

“Oh.” Chloe couldn’t quite keep back a laugh, though she felt heat rising in her cheeks. “Lucifer, I’m not telling Linda that. Not right now, at least.”

“But I was right,” Lucifer countered, though without any urgency.

Chloe smiled as she headed over to the couch. “Isn’t it enough that we know?”

Lucifer shrugged his acquiescence as he followed Chloe, and settled down next to her. His eyes glinting, he asked, “ _Now_ can we watch Hot Tub High School.”

“Lucifer,” Chloe said, her teasingly stern, “I don’t watch any movie where I take my top off until at _least_ the second date.”

“Ooh, is there more than one?” Lucifer joked. “Must be very indy, then. I checked IMDB, and I definitely didn’t see any after that.” He subsided at Chloe’s look of mock-threat, his expression sobering. “That conversation,” he said softly. “About what was going on with me this weekend. We’ll have it soon. Very soon. My word on it.”

Chloe reached for his hand. “Hey, okay,” she reassured. “It’s fine, whatever it is.” She saw his uncertain expression, and gave his hand a squeeze. “Okay, where’s the remote. I want to see what happens next.”

Lucifer handed over the remote and draped an arm over the top of the couch; Chloe settled lightly against him. He met Chloe’s gaze and murmured, “So do I.”


End file.
